Doxxed

Comments are back on

Yesterday at work I lost my USB.  It had a bunch of my blog post drafts on it.  Why did I have that at work, you wonder?  Well my normal work USB got a virus so I had to use my home one.

I had it at the printer, left it there, then realized and went back and it was gone.

Finally, a colleague who I will call Bitchface Fascist Cunt announced that she had it, that she’d found some of my less than complimentary posts about her country (I think I may have referred to the administration as a ‘special needs government’ at one point), and declared that she’s going to denounce me to Read More

Advertisements

Immaturity

I have always been immature, in every respect.

Teachers noted it on my report cards, though academically I was fine.  At my thirteenth birthday dinner, my parents asked the Chinese waiter to guess my age and he went with ten.  Still got a free fried ice cream with a sparkler on it, but.

As a teenager I was behind my same-age peers in all respects – cried too easily, late to fill out, never had girlfriends, didn’t have a part-time job.  I lacked confidence, was skinny and spotty, and these factors prevented me from grabbing opportunities that would have helped me to grow up.

Things became alarming when Read More

Comments are restricted

For the last time.  See you on the glorious other side, in around four months, when I will have completed my sentence.  If nothing goes wrang in the meantime.

I mean, *wrong*.

Funny, that’s the first thing that’s ever gone wrong.

Things are tough: we’ve had no water for a month and it looks like I may get no more for the rest of my time there.  Internet has stopped completely.  Other things have happened that I cannot share at this time.

But I’m now so close to freedom that I can smell it.

 

Torn personality

Regular readers will be aware of, and perhaps slightly alarmed by, my deteriorating metal health.  It does not seem to be psychosis as such, nor plain old depression, nor any ordinary anxiety disorder.  But something’s not right.  I don’t want to leave my bedroom.  Even the lounge room, being closer to the door, makes me nervous.  The outdoors are an ordeal.

It would be easy to blame Read More

Something to look forward to

Those of us who are strongly future-time oriented, probably because our ancestors lived far from the happy equator, always need something to look forward to.

Not for us the chipper satisfaction of living in the moment, of enjoying a hearty breakfast, a strong coffee and a good shit.  Even if we are not late for work our mind is adapted to be busy elsewhere, freed during these simple tasks to look ahead to Read More

Joy

I’ve just come back from a brief, uneventful trip out-of-country which mostly involved completing my manuscript and updating the blog.  Whenever I arrive back here I get depressed.  No whining, Nikki!  Okay, okay, but just let me say, I checked how many days I have until I completely finish this contract and I was not cheered to see that the number was two hundred and forty-fucking-five.

What is it, I’ve sometimes wondered, that I hate so much about this country?  Is it the fascism?  The stupidity?  The petulance?  The endless complaining?  The lack of basic services that even Cambodia has mastered, like water and gas?  The unenticing dating market?

Some time ago I realized no, it’s none of those things.  It’s not even the totality of them

It’s Read More

So happy I can’t feel it

[Ed: this was written six months ago, at the end of the first year of my two-year African contract.]

Done.

The toughest year of my life.  Wee hours spent thinking, shall I go to work tomorrow?  Or head to the airport instead?  And being held back mostly by the need for an exit visa and all that that entails.

Days of thinking, this is beyond bad.  This has reached Read More

Techies needed – what computer should I get?

I am low tech.  You’re about to find out the extent of my Ludditism.  Don’t judge me.

My 2012 MacBook Air is starting to creak.  Some updates and new software are no longer working, the memory’s running out, and occasional bugs scare the willies out of me because out here in the jungle I cannot back up automatically to the cloud.

Let’s face it.  I love this little machine, most of the time, but one day soon it’s going to go to that big, polluted, Nigerian recycling and data-stealing slum in the sky.

I’m going to run this baby right into the ground, but I’m already starting to consider what to replace it with when it finally gives up the ghost.

My needs are so minimal as to be laughable to you tech guys with your fancy games and marketable skills.  Some wag will no doubt suggest Read More

No whining

I hate whingeing.  People who can’t drop a spoon, miss a green light or endure a bit of rain without furiously shaking their fist at the very heavens and making a big song and dance about it.  Boo hoo!  Life is so unfair.  No one else ever, EVER misses a green light.  Woe is me.

If you were born in a civilized country you’ve already won the lottery of life and have no legitimate grounds to complain about much at all, unless you’ve been locked up for a murder you didn’t commit or something like that, and I very much doubt you have.

So just pick up the Read More

Steve

Steve thought Japan was awesome right from his first night in the country.  Fresh from Broken Hill, we let him drop off his bags then took him directly to our local, Bar Accredit.  There was some sort of DJ event on and the place was packed.

What Steve immediately liked was that the music was great, everyone was dancing, and the J-girls were so friendly that they were taking off the foreign men’s shirts and doing sexy dancing with them.

One girl in particular took a shine to him but she spoke no English.  His usual game hamstrung, he decided on a more blunt approach that could not fail to be understood.  He took her by the hand, pointed at the door and said, Read More

Uptick in Crime

There’s recently been an increase in crime here.

This used to be one of the safest cities in Africa.  Perhaps it still is.  However, various factors are leading to the breakdown of old certainties.  Let us first look at the nature of crime here, then examine underlying causes.

But wait – should we not first consider why this place was so orderly to begin with?  Because that demands some explanation.  This is Africa, after all.  So let’s start there.

I am not a criminologist so I don’t really understand the details, but religion certainly plays a major role.  The people here are about evenly split between Read More

Comments Will Close

I’m about to crawl back into the boa constrictor-invested, WiFi-deprived jungle.  And ya know what that means: a thousand flowers shall no longer bloom in the Soviet comments.

From tomorrow you need to be logged in and have a previously approved response in order to comment.

Enjoy yourselves out here in civilization, think of me sometimes, and be good to your mother.

-Nikolai

The Western Canon

One of my goals is to read the Western Canon in order to better understand our world and to be less ignorant.

There are lists available here and there, all hotly disputed.   I have selected from these and added to it several eastern works which have had a significant impact upon our history and culture.

So, here is what I’ve got. I have probably omitted Read More

The Sensible Left

Public debate works best when there are two or more compelling sides in the tussle, with each putting forward its strongest arguments and thoughtfully countering the opposition.  In this way we can best examine these cases and decide the most appropriate path.  Often we reach a conclusion that is somewhere in the middle.

The problem with current political and cultural discussion is that Read More

Turning a corner

Today things are good.

Objectively nothing has changed.  I’m still harassed constantly by begging children and lunatic customers.  There are no romantic prospects within sight.  My handlebar broke so I had to get that fixed instead of going to the gym.  Bloody thing had rusted through from the inside.  Further, it was a tough day at work with a performance evaluation to top it off.  And I ran out of eggs this morning.  My day never goes well if I have not had eggs.

But Read More