The Wages of Dim

It’s hard to find good help.

I have a housekeeper ‘cos I’m heaps rich and that (so long as I never return to Australia or any other civilized country).

I ran into a minor problem.

She didn’t cook me dinner tonight because she didn’t have enough money to buy ingredients.

You dickhead, my reader thinks despite his best efforts at generosity of spirit towards his frequently irritating narrator. Why didn’t you Read More

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The Day I Realized My Friends Were Retarded

In the 1990s there was an amusing TV comedy in Australia called Frontline. It was a satirical look at tabloid current affairs shows and most story lines were based on real events leaked by insiders: trumped-up hosts talking to gunmen in hostage situations thus blocking police calls, entirely faked stories, dodgy charity drives and the like. There was even an episode inspired by the character assassination of Charles Murray – astonishingly enough for the leftie D-Gen team that produced the show.

I recommended it to my mates at school and looked forward to their accolades the next day.

Didn’t happen.

One fellow complained that there was no laugh track. ‘How are you supposed to know Read More

My IQ

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Image liberated from http://www.yourtango.com

When I was young and the internet was even younger, I decided to test my IQ.

On a free day I searched for a reliable-looking online IQ test.  I found a good one.  It would take an hour to complete and was approved by some psychological society or other.  I poured some coffee (surely that’s not cheating), prepared some snacks, pissed, and plunged right in.

A stressful hour of manipulating blocks and identifying patterns later, my cutting-edge Pentium II with dial-up modem displayed the results.

“Your IQ is Read More