Have you ever thought, ‘If only people from Country X only knew what everyone thinks of them!’
In the interests of global peace and harmony, here we correct the world with very simple advice for many nations. Please pay attention and be better from now on.
Afghanistan: leave boys and goats alone.
Argentina: put someone else in charge of your economy.
Australia: sometimes youse are a bit too perfect.
Cambodia: stop Hun Sen selling you out to China.
Canada: kick Quebec out. Then Toronto and Ontario.
China: be more like Taiwan.
DR Congo: everything is super.
Eritrea: not every dispute need be a ferocious fight to the death.
Fiji: be nice to the Indians.
Finland: stop electing teenage girls.
France: the government does not owe you a living.
Germany: toilets and whips are not required for lovemaking.
Greece: pay your taxes.
India: use the toilet.
Ireland: no one likes your prime minister.
Israel: you need more diversity.
Japan: cut out the pedo shit.
South Korea: take it easy on the cosmetic surgery.
Malawi: leave albinos alone.
Malaysia: we know you don’t like us and we don’t care.
Mongolia: it’s a bit unsporting to punch a fellow in the back of the head, especially when there are two of you and the police always take your side.
New Zealand: stop pretending you don’t like Australians.
Niger: use condoms.
Nigeria: stay there.
Pakistan: see Afghanistan.
Philippines: get married before you have babies.
Portugal: cheer up.
Puerto Rico: declare independence.
Qatar: stop enslaving people.
Okay, forget it.
Saudi Arabia: what you most hate about the West, is doubly true of you.
Syria: go home.
Sweden: be Vikings again.
Tanzania: see Malawi.
Turkey: calm down.
United States: soda is not a food group.
That’s more like it!
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