My company rents out a small apartment building. I’m the only bloke here at the moment. As we’re super rich in this country my colleagues and I hire cooks, cleaners and a night guard.
One day a girl announced she didn’t want to hire the night guard anymore because it was too expensive. She asked what we thought. I said I reckoned we should keep him just for the sake of giving someone a job. Sure, he’s not essential, but it costs us so little and it’s all his got. He looks after his mum. The pay only just covers the cost of some basic food. And this is not a city full of free-market opportunities for the enterprising local. Why bother penny-pinching in such circumstances? Anyway, he’s also handy for running errands, carrying things and whatever, always pleased as punch to make himself useful.
Charity is one thing, but giving someone a job is quite another.
The other residents didn’t want him there anymore. One said she’d noticed he was starting to come late and leave early (while still acknowledging that he was as reliable as a Bumfuckistani gets), while the other said she didn’t care.
Thus outvoted, that one that wanted him gone said to me excitedly, “We’re firing CJ on Saturday!” It was a few days before Christmas. She had a gleam in her eye.
I had a sick, uncomfortable feeling that I did not understand well at the time. I will try to pull it apart and examine it here.
Women often wield power awkwardly. Over fellow women they are often bitchy, and small differences of opinion and normal difficulties are often interpreted through their mascaraed lenses as some sort of personal affront.
Managing men, women get weird. They feel uncomfortable. They often lord it over a man, or are too timid to instruct him, or they try to be invisible.
It is difficult for a woman to respect a man over whom she has power. If he is a valuable employee who could easily move on somewhere else, this rule may not apply. If he is a penniless, uneducated night guard, it does apply.
Chicks dig cruelty.
There is a strange, sexual aspect to females holding power over males. The Afghans traditionally handed their captured enemies over to the sadistic pleasures of their womenfolk, as this was considered the most humiliating end a man could come to. Many nations forbade women from taking part in the whipping of prisoners as they found it too degrading for all concerned. And then there’s the whole femdom scene – I always imagined it is more popular with men than with women, seeing as the former are more prone to fetishism and to extremes in general, but not being an aficionado I cannot say for sure.
It seems to me that women, finding themselves in the unfamiliar position of holding significant power over a man, quickly lose their sense of empathy. They take delight in his suffering in a way that they never would were he a dog or a goldfish. It is as though there is some underlying programming that signals to their hindbrain, ‘This male is surplus to societal requirements and must be banished or destroyed.” Like how birds in an aviary will peck to death their sick fellows.
All this reminds me of my dorky teenage years. I was not a victim of significant bullying, but I clearly remember being treated with the most contempt by girls. Girls who would relish trying to find out that I fancied them, or claiming that I did, and then make a big deal out of rejecting my imagined advances in front of as great an audience as possible. The cool boys, on the other hand, mostly left me alone aside from the odd whack or nasty comment. They didn’t really care much about me at all. To them I was generally invisible. It was the girls who objected most strenuously to my existence.
I have since seen the same dynamic as an adult watching kids and it is clear that this is a ‘protect the eggs’ strategy. Adolescent girls will take extreme steps to distance themselves from inferior sperm, and to signal to higher-value males that they are doing so, just as they will take extreme steps to bully into social ostracism rival girls. Again, once biological instinct takes over, empathy becomes surplus to requirements and is neatly dropped.
I would have thought that mature females with a fully developed pre-frontal cortex would be past this stage and would empathize with low-status males under normal circumstances. But looking around, I see that this is often not the case. Their DNA still screams at them to ‘protect the eggs’ and they are prone to humiliating and destroying inferior, replaceable males that offer them no value.
It’s funny, isn’t it? In this blog I often praise Nietzsche’s rubbish and brag about how I’m trying to become more selfish. But in the end, here in real life, I always seem to end up being the contemptible nice guy no matter how hard I try not to be.
I don’t understand why this is.