This is the rough beast that slouched towards Bethlehem to be born

A prominent blogger’s wife left him.

I’d had misgivings after reading some of his earlier posts, but I’m not close enough to him to have made any comment.  What do I know?  I’ve never been married.  I’ve not even had a long term relationship since my twenties.  But when the news came I was not altogether surprised.

What gave me concerns?  Very small things.  He never mentioned any children.  He talked about how he didn’t need game.  Perhaps there were other things I’ve now forgotten.

Just from these scant tea leaves, I could read the future?  No.  This and the fact that, everyone’s wife is leaving them.  No one’s wife is happy.  They all want out.  Even if they stay, they show their man contempt.  So slight tremors like those listed are enough for those who’ve been paying attention.

When I lived in Japan there was a forum for foreigners and one thread was about ‘relationships’.  Mostly Western guys would complain there about how their Japanese wives would no longer sleep with them, make their lunch, or had left them and were not letting them see the children any more.

There was this one older guy called OzzieDave who always scoffed.  He’d brought a J-bird back to Queensland, they’d been married twenty-odd years, it was all great, you just have to be alpha, keep lifting, be cool, he would always say.  The reason those ladies don’t fancy you is because you’re such a bunch of dweebs!  What would they like about you?

And one day, Adam-style, he announced that his wife had left him.  It was sudden.  There was no drama.  There was no warning.  She just wanted to be on her own, ‘find herself’, focus on her art, be independent.  He said, she’d always seemed content, but after she’d left, he’d never seen her look so happy.

He’d never seen her look so happy.

This was back in my emerging red pill days when I was rethinking whether I ever wanted to marry.  After reading that I thought, golly.  If even OzzieDave’s wife can clear off out of the blue, any woman can.  Especially if she married a much meeker and dorkier bloke such as myself.

Since then there have been other cases where I’ve seen awesome blokes abandoned or treated like shit by their spouses.  And now when I see a happy couple, I always notice when the wife passes those nasty little sneery comments that TV ads tell them they’re supposed to make from time to time.  And I think, how long has he got?

He’d never seen her look so happy.

Adam’s was the last straw.  I have now reached the conclusion more sensible men reached millennia ago: marriage only works if it is a socially enforced contract.  Men and women are not naturally monogamous.  Men are happy to have a main girl but their eye will rove.  Young women mostly prefer serial monogamy.  They will tire of almost any man after a while, and will always be looking to trade up.

Under Marriage 2.0, men are incentivized to contain or limit their philandering.  Women are not similarly incentivized to control their hypergamy – quite the reverse.  And so marriage, outside of conservative, self-policing sub-communities like Mormons or Guajaratis, effectively no longer exists.

Doubtless Adam made some mistakes along the way.  I guess that makes him guilty of being human.  The fact is, he didn’t have a hope from the get-go.  None of us do.  Join one of those traditional groups, or establish one, or give up on the idea of a lasting marriage.

He’d never seen her look so happy.



  1. Vincent · January 9

    I’m glad to be here, if only a sole voice, among your admirers, and challenge your whole-life commitment to reinforcing a pre-existent confirmation bias.

    I can assure you from deep & immediate experience,that monogamous marriage is one of the best vessels for developing, containing and propagating love: sexual, parental and filial. It doesn’t have to be socially enforced. It thrives best as a bulwark against social pressures, when the commitment it requires is daily reaffirmed in the deeds & gestures of the partners themselves, perhaps in defiance of massive social pressures.

    Happiness, which you constantly mention, is not a magic thing that we can capture in a net. That is the language of innocence. Experience shows that life’s hard knocks are the best teachers.

    True love is one and universal. Committed marriage is a prime hatching ground. Lack of true love is hell.


  2. luisman · January 9

    Reblogged this on Nicht-Linke Blogs.


  3. Himself · January 11

    Unless you are having kids, there’s no reason for a man to get married whatsoever. It’s a sucker’s bargain. Matter of fact if one of you says you aren’t into having kids the Catholic Church (mine, of which I’m devout) won’t perform the marriage. If you lie, and later it comes out, they will annul it like it never happened.

    I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this and come up with an analogy for the red-pill-manosphere types. Best I can come up with is if you are going to be a pig farmer, don’t complain about the smelly pigs and how they act. For the most part, clubbing with game will get you laid, but you won’t find a wife there and haven’t been able to since…ever.

    And you aren’t going to rock up to a traditional community, sign up, and join in. In mine, if you go through the year long process to join, you have to then find your spot in the community. You’ll most certainly find a wife, but it’ll be years of work – going to mass, going to bible study, volunteering. And more than likely the best you’ll do is an 8, maybe a solid reliable 6-7. It’ll be rare that you’ll meet a traditional Catholic girl, and she’ll put up with your bullshit about converting if you aren’t honest. My daughters and all their friends have been through this at least once. One married a dude she met at the college catholic group, the other told me that I was right when I told her to stay within her faith.


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