How many paragraphs until they admit it?

From The Age: ‘Beachgoers attacked, robbed, glassed at Chelsea as teenagers run riot’.

Even foreigners would have picked the keyword in that headline, but let me fill you in on other facts: Chelsea beach is renowned for occasionally being a bit rough as it is just south of two high-immigrant suburbs, Springvale and Dandenong.  Just how rough it is at any given times depends on who’s living there – Vietnamese, Afghans etc.

Second, the nature of the attack is a dead giveaway – going on a random, antisocial rampage for fun and profit is the almost exclusive province of refugees in Melbourne from one country in particular.

After the second paragraph there’s a hint in the photo for those who can spot it, but they don’t tell us yet.

Finally in paragraph ten they can wriggle no longer and reluctantly tell us that the suspects were of ‘African appearance.’  And any local knows which particular corner of that enormous continent they come from.

Further down another photo suggests the adversaries in one incident may have been Lebos or Islanders – not groups many would pick a fight with, but the mostly slender South Sudanese tend to travel in much larger packs and therefore may have been willing to take them on.

For spergniks: yes, many South Sudanese are no doubt fine, law-abiding citizens.

For foreigners: why South Sudanese?  Because that’s who we’ve got.  There are bugger all people from the Congo or Honduras around.

For everyone: is this how daily life is in Bumfuckistan?


First, it’s a police state, so if getting drunk and telling everyone at the pub what you really think of the Boss will get you disappeared, so will random acts of public disorder.

Second, many young people are out of the capital either doing national service (aka slave labour), studying (they deliberately disperse colleges throughout the regions in order to make colour revolutions hard), or doing military training.  Or they’ve escaped the country.

Third, the people here are more intelligent, educated and less criminal than is the case for most of sub-Saharan Africa.  They think of the South Sudanese about what we do, though they won’t easily admit it.  A drunken Finn I met at the pub here in the Mysterious East complained to me that Bumfuckis in his country are fifteen times more likely to commit rape than locals, but I cheerfully informed him that probably they were only about five times more likely to do so.

However, things seem to be changing.

Some friends were heading home from a restaurant about about 8pm and decided to take a shortcut through a dark alley.  A year ago this would not have been especially foolhardy – that is how quickly the situation is worsening.

A dozen young men, aged around eighteen, suddenly appeared from nowhere and began following them, harassing the two girls, saying ‘I want your vagina’ and that sort of thing.  The two boys sensibly kept their cool, tried to chat amiably to the lads to buy time until they got near the end of the alley, and then threatened to tell the cops at the police station, which was right there.  The drunken idiots realized their error, apologized and beat a hasty retreat.

So they called it in to a head of security for a certain embassy, who called the local coppers, who swung by later that night, found half a dozen drunken kids still stupidly loitering in the area, and arrested them.

So we won’t be hearing of them for a few months or years, if ever.  That alley is probably now the safest place in the city.  And that is how a police state works: if you don’t need evidence or trials, street crime is easy to deal with.  Perhaps one of those lads rounded up was not even involved and just joined his stupid mates later.  Lesson learned: don’t hang out with troublemakers.

It seems that an increasing number of locals are now traveling to [hated neighbouring country], seeing the rather lawless situation over there, and are getting ideas from their newfound freedom.

As I’ve said before, things could be worse.  Without a strongman in charge, Syria or Libya-style anarchy is always on the cards.  Let Africans run Africa as they wish.

As for Melbourne, what can the local coppers do?  They can’t just go around arresting large groups of suspicious looking characters.  They have to pin crimes on individuals using evidence that will stand up in court, and then the small percentage of culprits convicted are likely to get lenient sentences from pozzed courts.  In prison they’ll make connections with even worse crims, and when they get out the cycle will repeat.

To jump topics slightly, the most peaceful Aboriginal communities tend to be the very isolated, traditional ones that still respect the elders and adhere to customary law.  Unlike in U.S. Indian reservations, this law has no legal recognition.  It goes against various principles of Anglo-Saxon law – a person might receive payback for not looking after their brother who killed himself in a drunken car crash, for example, or a person might receive a penalty on behalf of a relative.  A common punishment is copping a spear through the leg.

However, the local cops tend to turn a blind eye because these Aborigines tend to police themselves pretty well through such primitive measures.  It’s in the somewhat less traditional communities – by far the larger number – where the situation is often chaotic.

This is how I feel about African countries.  Many are run by brutal dictatorships or by pseudo-democracies.  Perhaps that’s best for them.  It’s when disparate groups mix together, unassimilated, that the idea of ‘one law for all’ falls down.  How to deal with the situation is secondary to a more important question: how did we end up here?



  1. Vincent · December 30

    Your first link takes the reader to a YouTube of Michael Jackson singing “Don’t stop till you get enough” – a minor fuckup because the intrepid reader will find the intended video easily via Google.


  2. Vincent · December 30

    I’m curious to know what a spergnik is. Not me surely for I don’t need telling that many South Sudanese are likely to be fine law-abiding citizens. I’m very glad of your post and its thoughtful compassionate analysis. I don’t know how we ended up here either, don’t even care about the “how”, only that we must face reality honestly, as you have done.


    • Nikolai Vladivostok · December 30

      Re: link – that was odd. Fixed now. Good thing I didn’t accidentally direct you to amputee porn.
      Re: spergnik = Asperger’s. I just made it up but everyone will be using it by tomorrow.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Bill Miller · January 2

    Similar event in Germany (again):
    Officials: “Move along, there is nothing to see here.”


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