I am low tech. You’re about to find out the extent of my Ludditism. Don’t judge me.
My 2012 MacBook Air is starting to creak. Some updates and new software are no longer working, the memory’s running out, and occasional bugs scare the willies out of me because out here in the jungle I cannot back up automatically to the cloud.
Let’s face it. I love this little machine, most of the time, but one day soon it’s going to go to that big, polluted, Nigerian recycling and data-stealing slum in the sky.
I’m going to run this baby right into the ground, but I’m already starting to consider what to replace it with when it finally gives up the ghost.
My needs are so minimal as to be laughable to you tech guys with your fancy games and marketable skills. Some wag will no doubt suggest I go out and upgrade to a stylus and papyrus scroll. But this is what I need:
– Microsoft office
– Web browser
– Keyboard (you have to say that these days)
– USB ports (“ ”. Need ‘em for third world reliability)
– Something CHEAP
– Something light, small and easily portable; concealable in a small safe for third world living
If possible, I would like:
– iTunes. I bought some music for the jungle as I cannot stream. Once I’m out of here I guess YouTube will suffice, but I may go to a country with expensive internet so keeping the music would be a nice bonus
– More memory than this bad boy has. Most of it gets used up by the music
Yup, that’s about it.
I don’t need:
– Massive power for graphics or anything like that
– Cool speakers
– Impressive video
– Anything for games
– Large screen
– Any of those other jumbles of letters and numbers you’ll ask me about. I don’t even know what they are
– I’m not rusted on to Apple. Good design but I find the software clunky in comparison to daggy old PC. In particular, it is so bloody hard to scroll.
– I’m cool with cheap, weird brands. I’ll go Asus. But nothing from mainland China. I do have some standards, you know.
– I am open to any combination of hardware that might achieve my ends, i.e. smart phone, tablet, external memory or keyboard etc. I’ve heard that eventually the smart phone will serve as the CPU with all other bits becoming add-ons for home or work but I’m not sure if we’re there yet.
What do youse reckon?
Keep in mind the Soviet code of conduct when debating the matter in the comments section:
– You must call anyone who disagrees with you a fucking idiot
– You must use swear words in every post
– You must belittle myself and all other commenters
– You must post gifs that mock your interlocutors
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