For reasons some of you may be aware of, I upload posts many months after I have written them. Hence my topical articles are stale and I have to remind you what they’re all about.
Cast your mind back around eight thousand years, to the heady days of February 2018 when some Oxfam staff got busted rooting Haitian whores. Remember that? No? Well, look it up while the rest of us get on with it.
There are many curious and interlocking layers of hypocrisy involved. Let us peel back the onion layers until we cry.
First, everyone pretended to be shocked that aid workers might have enjoyed the affections of some compensated third world hoochimamas. Perhaps some actually were surprised. Those of us who frequent these parts yawned and thought, this is on the telly? What next, a story about a dog farting in a car? It’s not fake news, it’s just not news at all.
Take my word for it – while prostitution is considered scandalous in the West, it is perfectly normal in much of the rest of the world. And you know who succumbs to their succulent charms the most frequently? Why, those with the most money, of course. Diplomats from non-Western countries – especially Egyptians, who are also, as a rule, alcoholics. Aid workers, be they Red Cross, UN, or any other agencies. Again, it is the non-Westerners among them who do most of the illicit shagging. Businessmen, of course. Locals who for some reason have money. Here that would be generals’ sons. Lower-down workers like Indian university teachers do it less because they have less money.
You know that charming Englishman whose organization you pay to help protect rare monkeys in Cambodia? On assignment he always engages a ‘girlfriend’ for the week. That’s what people do over there.
People expect aid workers to be holier than us. In the same way we demand that nurses, teachers and police officers do their jobs purely out of a spirit of public-mindedness and we get narky if they demand a pay rise. The selfishness! Aid workers, like those others, do it partly for the money. And in some cases the package is pretty sweet. If you are one of those who give to charity, which would you prefer? An ascetic who lives on beans and rice as he works fourteen hours a day tending to the poor? Or a well-paid professional who knows exactly what he’s doing over there and actually gets the power back on? Take your pick.
Oh but of course, the aid workers are supposed to be helping the poor, not fucking them. Well . . . you know what helps the poor even more than wealth transfers? Jobs and opportunities in a thriving private sector. And you know what pays really well? Pleasuring fat, balding Brits. Probably those Haitian whores’ children were the best fed kids in town. I expect they’d be much better off than the ones scrounging for handouts from the Red Cross.
If you really want to help the third world, go there, spend some money and have fun. If whores aren’t your thing then just eat out, buy a sari, go for a camel ride, do a boat tour, or whatever. But, you know. The whores are always there if you should change your mind.
Examining the next layer down, we come to . . . gender. I use the word instead of ‘sex’ only to avoid confusion. Calm down. So, these aid workers caught purple cocked were all male, and all were ‘taking advantage of’ females (who freely engaged in the transaction). This is a perfect opportunity for the usual suspects in The Guardian to start banging on about how girls are sugar and spice and all things nice while boys are all sigs and heils and college-raping males. I’m sure that it’s rare for female aid workers, except the really old ones, to resort to the charms of Kuta cowboys. But why is that so?
If you need to ask the question then you know precious little about the operation of the sexual market. (Average) sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive, and any unremarkable white woman can do remarkably well in Africa and other parts without spending a cent. In these environments men sometimes need to splash some cash in order to scratch that same itch, and some do. Of course, they could just date those female aid workers, but . . . have you seen them? Not even the most benevolent, pious World Vision zealot could manage it.
Two more layers to go. This one is my personal favourite: some claim that, as prostitution is illegal in Haiti, Oxfam should have immediately presented all evidence of wrongdoing to local authorities rather than just sacking the blokes.
Look, I know a lot of my readers are delightfully earnest Americans who have never left Iowa’s state boundaries and think that anyone would be mad to do so.* For their benefit I will explain what happens out here in the Big Bad World.
Prostitution is technically illegal in most countries. It is even illegal in the red light capital of the world, Thailand. But guess what? It isn’t really illegal. Operators need to pay off the local police, everyone knows what’s going on and it is accepted. It is not at all clandestine. A law is only a law if it is enforced. It isn’t like the Prohibition era when the government genuinely tried to crack down on alcohol. In general, non-Western authorities make no such attempt. And the commentators carrying on with this stupidity know all of this already, and they are deceiving you. The Haitian police don’t care. If they did receive a report they’d only arrest the alleged perps, or the girls, in order to extract a bribe.
Do you think that a country like Haiti has a well functioning justice system that might put baddies in their place? That it has honest police, incorruptible courts, a workable prison system and all the rest of it? Justice in the third world is often a matter of paying off the right people or languishing in jail for months or years while you wait for your case to be heard in the log-jammed and corrupt court system. What happens to you in the end is likely to depend on current political considerations rather than the facts of your case. Again, the commentariat know this.
There was also a suggestion that some of the girls may have been underage. There seems to be no evidence for this so it would appear irrelevant, purely created by the imagination of those who want the baddies to appear very bad indeed.
Oh that’s right, it was just some Haitian NGO fellow who was saying that. I took one look at him and thought, yup, he’s after publicity and more white fella cash, and he’ll probably spend plenty of it on whores himself, some of them underage. Because that’s normal over there. All his offense is confected in order to manipulate his target audience, i.e., you.
Finally . . . Haitian whores? Those dirty Oxfam gentlemen deserve nothing less than the Victoria Cross for such bravery. Give them a gong and a good scrub.
* Perhaps I should make a donation to an American charity every time I make an anti-American statement here. Maybe something for wounded veterans. Any thoughts?