Questions for Da Ladies
It shouldn’t annoy me. It isn’t like having a water outage and two litres left in bottles under my sink (my present situation). It’s not as bad as being forbidden to buy bread because I’m a foreigner (this also is true but don’t worry, I have a supplier. Shhhh.)
They don’t even have Tinder here, but I noted this a year ago as a possible blog topic adn I finally got to it so here it is.
I get really annoyed by all the Taiwanese girls who have Tinder pictures with cat ears.
A while ago it was duckface. Then it was cat ears. Now it’s already moved on to the stupid dog nose and by the time of publication it will be something else. Cutie little devil horns or an emoticon cock sticking out of your mouth or something.
Now ladies, you can post whatever stupid photos you like. I propose no laws against your stupid whims. I’ve just got some questions for you.
- Why do you do it? My only guess is that all your friends do it, so you feel the need to do it too. Can you explain or clarify your thought process in any greater detail?
- Do you think that such photos will help you to score a high quality man? If so, how? Do you think that an awesome guy like me will look at your cat ears and whiskers and think, ah! This girl knows exactly what’s popular this month. I’ll go with her. Not the seven hundred other girls who had cat ear pictures. Just her.
- Do ever look at these photos and think, do I look a bit silly? Or do you wonder, why do I do that? Or do you ever think, hey! Maybe I’ll stand out by being different from all the others. I’ll have a photo of me sitting on the toilet with my legs shyly crossed or something. Perfect!
For the record, this is how you should attract attention from the spunkie fellas: Have one photo of you smiling normally at the camera like you’re not a sociopath. Very few girls have one of those. Get another, more distant full-body shot. You can be in a bikini if you want but jeans and a t-shirt is also fine. We’re just checking that you’re not fat. Any photos after that are unnecessary. Try to avoid photos taken in public toilets. I know the mirrors there are huge but that’s where people shit, and you don’t want to associate yourself with shit unless you’re trawling for Germans.
To chuck another shrimp on the barbie, upon a weekend a girl from another city was visiting so I suggested we meet. She was too busy or didn’t want to. No problem, forgot about her and had no more contact. Anyway, come Tuesday she unilaterally sent me a dozen photos of her hanging out my city, spending time with family etc. In case anyone wants to know, I sent a one-word response (‘narcissist’) and blocked her.
What would be the point of such an action? Oh god, I know. Lesser men give her fawning attention for doing a thing like that, just for the faint whiff of distant pussy, kind of like a bush elephant with no legs desperately sniffing at the water from a mile away. And that would explain a lot of the cat ear photos, too – they put them on Facebook and various apps and the ball-less likes come flooding in.
Never mind about the questions, I think my musing has answered them. Note to the blokes: if she has not wet your dick, you are her fluffer.