The Most Enjoyable Election Comments on Jezebel

You know the funnest thing in the world?  No, it’s not those clubs in Japan where you can watch the ladies above you above shit on a perspex floor.  No, it’s even funner than that.  It’s free.  And you can do it right now, without getting up or putting on your underwear.

  1.  Go to Jezebel.
  2.  Click on an election-related article.
  3.  Read the comments.

Better than chocolate sex.

All sic:

DrugstoreGlasses

I’m crying because I don’t know how the fuck were going to survive a trump presidency.  And if he wins this isn’t my country, period. It’s every man for themselves. FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING LIBERAL WHITE MEN. FUCK YOU.

Why is she blaming liberal white men?  To answer logically would be to answer wrongly.  The important thing is, those overweight angry women never liked the skinny bearded ones at all.  And who can blame them.  Note to the skinny bearded ones: lift and eat meat.  Then it will all start to make sense.  Oh, and switch to boxer shorts.

I already cried.  It sickens me that so many people found this awful human being a viable president.  It really looks like he’ll win, and I want to vomit.

Additionally, today I found out my entire family and my boyfriend all voted Trump and I’m feeling betrayed about that (they originally said they wouldn’t vote at all). I’m honestly questioning my closest relationships because of this election right now. Not because they voted differently from me, but because they voted for someone so hateful who disrespects women, and I AM a woman. Like WTF dad and boyfriend – what are you thinking?

This is bad. Not only for me personally but the entire fucking country.

I think the boyfriend needn’t worry.  He’ll keep the girl, if he still wants her.  Seems a lot of blokes were like this, lying about who they would vote for to avoid being hectored or fired before election day.

Masshole James

It’s not close! She’s losing EVERYWHERE, even next door to me in New Hampshire! I am freaking the fuck out!!! She’s losing MInnesota! MSNBC showed the national vote count and she’s down 51%-44% and my heart skipped a beat… WTF? I thought all these white people were dead…where did they come from?

Ah, the honesty of the heat of the moment.

. . . This is a white people thing. White people did this. This is on white people and only on white people. Hillary Clinton could have been the world’s most inspiring candidate and it would not have mattered. White people wanted Trump. And got him.

Hatchi: The alt-right white men love me

Oh, I’m gonna get violent. America just told me that I didn’t matter. I’m completely past the point of compromising, being civil and hoping for a better tomorrow.

iwenttothebathroom

That was WHITE women who voted for him. That’s on them. White women are not feminists in any sense of the word.

I’m not making these up, by the way.  Not even this one:

Annie from the Grog Booth

Tear streaming. I’m so sad. I feel hopeless. Lost. The world as I’ve known it is over. This isn’t hyperbole. This is fact

this is the booze but here it goes. I love dick but fuck YOU men. Literally. FUCK you men.

You’re probably thinking I’ve saved the best for last.  You know me well.  Peruse, and enjoy:

vulvasaurus

As I’m comforting my Muslim spouse as she sobs about what this means for her, I don’t have time for nausea. I just want her to be okay. I want to live in a place where an interfaith lesbian couple with disabilities aren’t seen as the enemy. I’m tired of our lives hanging in the balance every goddamn election because some people (the majority, sometimes) are ignorant and easily taken by alienating rhetoric. I’m tired of waiting for voters to decide that we’re people and not the enemy.

I’m so fucking tired.

Feel free to share other notable comments below.

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12 comments

  1. pulsotic · November 10

    “interfaith lesbian couple with disabilities”, omfg. So absurd it has to be real.

    Like

    • Nikolai Vladivostok · November 10

      Even I could program a bot that writes Jezebel comments. It just needs to randomly string together the same seven terms in different orders: lesbian, rapey, trans, actual fuck, literally, can’t even, and WHITE MEN (which is always capitalised).
      Or maybe they already have such a bot and we are trolled. Hmm.

      Like

  2. Eduardo the Magnificent · November 10

    I was perusing some other blogs and, occasionally, one of the rational among them would say “can we step back for a second and ask ourselves if Hillary lost because she’s a bad candidate?” Hate, vitriol, and for me, hilarity, ensued. No, it was not Hillary’s fault. Half of the country is simply a bunch or evil racist evil racists. I drank deeply of their tears.

    Pleas note, however, that this loss hurt them to their core. Some will move on, some will grow, but likely most will strike back. It always felt like a war for us because we were losing, and winners never feel like they’re in one. Well, they’ve just been stung with defeat. It’s on now, motherfuckers. And if this election taught us anything, fair play from their side is out of the question. Don’t underestimate the enemy, and after last night, they KNOW we are enemies. Celebrate, but prepare for the next round, whenever and wherever it may be.

    Like

    • bucky · November 12

      My take is that they are planning the false flags all ready. Provoke, provoke, provoke and finally some weak link out there will snap and give them the “racist” response they desperately want. A few of those and God knows what will happen.

      Like

      • Eduardo the Magnificent · November 13

        I’ve had that thought, too. Soros will not go down easily. But I’m mindful of the axiom “never start a fight, but always finish one.” They started all this shit, and we punched back. If they want to start more, be my guest.

        Like

  3. Nikolai Vladivostok · November 10

    I’m not American so I don’t have a dog in this fight. I just love seeing people who despise me vent their impotent rage.

    Like

  4. Lab Guy · November 10

    It was also fun to the troll the cat ladies and ‘educated’ libtard women at the Huffington waste groups on Fecesbook. The vitriol is a joy to behold. I can’t get any to apologize for that deplorables and irredeemable comments.

    Like

  5. Conspirator · November 11

    Trump doesn’t even care about gay issues or abortion. He’s not going to do anything in those areas that the left doesn’t want.

    I’m glad these people feel that people of colour are targets of hatred as a result of this election. Whites have been relentlessly targeted for decades. We have whole classes and departments in college that are dedicated to justify our genocide through mass 3rd world immigration.

    Like

    • Nikolai Vladivostok · November 12

      Yeah, seems to be projection. Trump only mentioned Mexicans and 30% of Hispanics voted for him anyway so they can’t have been that cut. As for the rest of the fringe alliance, some have been calling for the extinction of whites so they’re expecting similar treatment in return. They don’t realize that the main weakness of those Midwesterners they hate so much is their implacable niceness.

      Like

  6. tobie · November 14

    “schadenfreude” is SO under-rated!!! Equally delighted about this outcome.

    I’ve also learned the term “POC”, i.e. “person of color”. So there are many “as a POC, I am disturbed by this electino result…”

    The truest outcry from this election? All those brainless Hollywood actors and performers (like Amy Shumer) who are back-tracking on their promise to leave the USA if Trump got elected. Now they are saying, “oh that was a joke, I’m staying.”

    AWALT

    Like

  7. anton popov · November 25

    commie man says: you will be dealt with soon enough! No room for your kind of weakness, no room for trots, no room for fems, no room for fruit cakes, no room, no room. Oh, by the way, those whose sole purpose in life is to make sure others conform to dictates, you have not seen anything yet. You presume to be tough and smart, and above it all. We shall see. Soviet discipline meets weak western creatures.

    Like

  8. charlessledge001 · January 11

    Holy shit this was one of the most entertaining things I’ve ever read. That was awesome. These people are hilarious.

    Like

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