Word from the Dark Side, 8/25/16


An irregular collection of problematic news and opinion.

I know, I know, my dearies.  The world is harsh and bleak.  Uncle Vlad is here to share with you good tidings from around the world that will soothe your mourning heart and bring succor to your contracted sphincter.  And if you can’t trust me, who can you trust?  Your Nona?  Haw haw.  She’s slagging you off to her bingo mates and spending your inheritance on buff Kenyan gigolos.  Ol’ Nik here’s the only friend you’ve got.  So let’s have a look.

Old ladies like your Gran who stay with their partners secretly hate them and wake up every morning wondering why they don’t leave.  No such thing as husband goggles, it seems.  A lifetime of provisioning and devotion?  Hypergamy doesn’t care about that or anything else.

In hot Asian sex trafficking news, most migrant sex workers in Australia are satisfied with their work.  Not sure if it’s the money, the conditions, or the massive Aussie cocks but there you go.  The research was commissioned by the Australian Institute of Criminology (sounds legit) and the Scarlet Alliance (Australian sex workers association, obviously has a barrow to push).  Nevertheless it’s a welcome counterbalance to all the femo-commissioned ‘research’ that concludes men are bad and should be imprisoned on Green Island and forced to marry me and my cats and pay lots of tax and they are bad and OMG kittens are SO CUTE!!!!

I like how the world of linkage allows me to use any reference I like, be it however obscure.

In less sexy parts of Australia, camel hunters get bogged out Bumfuck Egypt, walk 50km (248.548 furlongs) to find one bar of phone service and get rescued.  Local police remind people not to be cockheads.

Yeah, yeah, the punters want heartwarming.  You want heartwarming?  This article’s gunna roast that ticker up until a Korean eats it.  You know that schoolgirl they rescued from Boko Haram in Nigeria?  Poor little thing misses her militant husband and is unhappy about being separated from him.  I assume my readers already know, but this is called alpha widow syndrome.  In yuk yuk news, I scrolled down (what, read it?  Fuck off, gramps) and thought I saw a picture of the husband.  Nope, it was . . . well, you’ll see.

In chubby Arab news, Egypt (actual Egypt) state TV orders female hosts to lose weight.  The hostesses responded by making that Arab whooping noise that they do in order to annoy normal people and rampaged around the studio, sitting on anything and anyone they could find.  Order was restored when a canny executive told them there was wedding cake at the bottom of nearby cliff.  In unrelated news, Egyptian prospectors have discovered a rich new source of crude oil.

As a group, only men pay tax.

A Bangladeshi village descends into an all-in brawl after an argument about a popular soap opera.  Infuriatingly, the article does not tell us what the point of contention actually was.  Tell you what, if someone was trying to suggest Kiranmala had fallen in love with a commoner I’d smash that fucking Bangla’s head in with the assbone of a pig.

Don’t know if anyone cares about this but in Korea, a computer game actress wore a tshirt that dissed dorky male gamers, they spazzed out and she lost her job.  There you have it: Korean computer nerds have more balls than we do.  Still not impressed, though.  PS Looked how cucked South Korea is.  Being mocked by their own women.  How bad does it need to get before they invite in the northern Kim clan to sort it out?  Ah, fat Kim.  Bet that guy never goes short of a bit of fresh poon.  If he didn’t, what would be the point of it all?  Seriously, what would be the point?

This one knocked my socks off: Slobodan Milošević legit cleared of all wrongdoing.  Or at least of the really bad things, like war crimes.  Everyone is totally full of shit.  Governments lie and lie and lie.  I will never support any war unless someone is actually invading my homeland, and even then I want to see video evidence, and even then I will be skeptical, and anyway I’m too old to fight these days, or at least that’s what I say.  Oh, this earth is buried in mounds of bullshit and it always has been, right back to the day when the Marsh People’s leader convinced them the Stone People had stolen their woman when really he knew full well she had willingly and cheerfully snuck off to them.  Whole lotta war about nothing, for millions of years, forever.

Harper Lee was ugly and that’s why she wrote what she did.  Actually she wrote fuck all, didn’t she.  Did she have another job?  Here I am, right on the internet, and yet I can’t be bothered to look.  Gotta put the mouse all the way up there, open a new tab . . . fuck ooooofffff.

Why porn starts die young.

The crisis of female porn addiction.

The stitch-up of the Australian Federal Police.

Psychologist says why it’s better to stay single.

Tacos: Did you quit the internet?

The Week That Perished.

The Earth is Doomed (links to picture of human silliness).

How to prepare and drink coffee.

How to root gold diggers for free.

All about rooting black women.

Games girls play.

It’s best to avoid noble gestures.

Against love tourism.

The Matt Forney Show.

How to party in Addis Ababa.

The Great Stagnation – the world economy is no longer growing and it doesn’t look like it’s gunna, anymore.

Vioxx – big news you missed.

How an ugly 50 year old can out compete surfers.

Male Tinder users have low self esteem.

Hot black girl.

That’s it.  That’s plenty.  Leave me alone.


Further reading: the previous Word from the Dark Side



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