I watched public reactions the recent spate of terrorist attacks with sociopathic curiousity. I wondered, how will the Cultural Marxists spin it? In their taxonomy of the world, Muslims are a victim class, and so are gays. So how is it that a Muslim can attack a gay nightclub? SJWs looked on, shocked, like a zoologist in the field observing a zebra stalking and devouring a wildebeest. It’s not supposed to happen.
At first the Left put forward an unconvincing narrative about how Muslims are discriminated against in the West and this lack of engagement makes them go all choppy-choppy. The first problem with this view is that it paints all Muslims as oversensitive maniacs who will blow us up unless we refrain from mocking their religion and ensure they all enjoy excellent careers. The Left fails to explain why Asian immigrants do not require such mollycoddling. The second problem is that there’s a shirtload of terrorists over there in the sandlands who were never discriminated against. In fact, they are in the mainstream, Sunni majority and they are gradually eliminating everybody else. Clearly a more logically acrobatic narrative was required.
Some commenters on Australian radio had the answer. All the terrorists belong to the same, privileged group when you stop and think about it: they are men. Listen to that one, grumpy girl go on and on about it whenever it comes up. Men! she shrieks. That’s who’s shooting us and blowing us up! It’s those rascally men! Grrrrr!
Unlike AltRight commentators I can’t help admiring the sophistry of the Left. It is ingenious. This one was almost as clever as the HuffPo schoolmarm who patiently explained why men can be women but whites can’t be black. Here’s another one: why movie violence against women is more problematic than movie violence against men. At the end of articles like that I can only think: she’s done it! That’s brilliant! Kind of like how Wile E. Coyote must feel when the Road Runner effects yet another unlikely escape. Such cases also bring to mind The Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy‘s classic explanation of how the Babel fish disproves God. One needs to be highly intelligent to fall for such stupid arguments.
I could point out that one of those involved in the November 13 Paris attacks was a woman. Or that many women and girls have flocked to the ‘Caliphate’ in order to marry ISIS fighters. Or I could deny my responsibility for the actions of other men, and that no, we chaps do not ironically chortle down at the pub about religiously-inspired beheadings and thereby normalize this brutal expression of toxic masculinity.
I could also argue that the vast majority of personnel deployed against terrorism – soldiers, police, military contractors, intelligence agents etc. – are male. This last rebuttal takes us closer to a more interesting point than we will reach by bothering to argue with crazy cat ladies.
You see, men are the ones who do things.
Men are terrorists. They are soldiers and police. They are prizefighters and chess masters and bank robbers. Men disproportionately invent things, demolish things, build skyscrapers, club fur seals, clear forests, design software, skateboard on war memorials, get into pub brawls and win Nobel prizes. If it’s a thing that people do, if it’s something that people applaud or condemn, and it’s done outside of an office, it will in most cases be done by a man.
It isn’t just the movers and shakers and losers and breakers that are men. Consider little old Nikolai. I sometimes go on long hiking trips into remote, mountainous areas. Most or all members of the party are invariably . . . men. I went for a long trip around the country on two wheels – not many women do that. Anything that involves risk, challenge or adventure will attract more dicks than slits.
Why is it so?
It’s because women are prohibited from hiking and riding motorbikes. They are required by law to remain indoors at all times wearing only a skimpy, pink bikini while they wash my dishes and clean my filthy underwear stained with my various patriarchal body fluids.
The real reason is twofold. The first is that men feel greater compulsion to do things, be they good things, bad things or neutral. The second is an explanation for the first: men need to stand out.
In our environment of evolutionary adaptation, 80% of females and 40% of males managed to produce offspring. This gives the sexes different motivations. For women, the best bet is to sit tight, look pretty and wait for a handsomely hirsute fellow with a massive club to trundle along and sweep you off your feet. For a man, sitting tight and playing it safe achieves nothing. You can bet your sweet arse that the lucky 40% of sexed-up fellas were vigorous action men of some sort. Perhaps they hunted ludicrously large beasts or maybe they enslaved weaker tribes. One way or another, they made their mark and they made it right on your DNA and mine.
For a brief time our unforgiving sexual proclivities were masked by religiously enforced monogamy but now they’re back for all to see. Even when hidden, the underlying urges encoded within us led to a sex-based bifurcation in our behaviour.
Men usually don’t do things just to impress women. They don’t think, golly, designing a bridge that could span this river will have all the hoochie mamas knocking at my door. Rather, they have the urge to do something, and so they do. There is no telling which particular behaviour might win a fair lady in any particular epoch. Instead, the male sex are an adaptive roll of the dice – some do this, some do that, some do something else altogether and one way or another they hopefully pass on some genes before they blow themselves up or die of an overdose.
Here are some behaviours that are currently successful in attracting women:
- Making money (to some extent)
- Committing crime
- Playing popular music
- Participating in extreme sports
Here are some behaviours that are currently unsuccessful in attracting women:
- Establishing a stable, secure career
- Volunteer work
- Playing unpopular music
- SJW activities
I’m not sure about terrorism. Hopefully most of them get their innards smeared on ceilings and walls before they can reproduce.
So: men. They do things. Some do good things, some do bad things. Most do things that are not especially good or bad, like writing unpublishable novels or buying a jet ski. Because of this rule, our screeching radio friend from the beginning of this post is quite correct: yes, the vast majority of terrorists are men. Well done. If there were a way to achieve gender equality more terrorists would be women and we’d all live happily ever after.
But Nikolai, my reader chides. You have forgotten to answer the most important question of all, you phlegmatic villain. What about blogging? Does blogging attract women?
Well, yes and no. Oddly, it is my sexist articles like this one that are the most popular with female readers. I have only one groupie and she lives on another continent. Few women on this continent know enough English to admire my writing so I have to rely instead on my movie star good looks. Ladies wanting to join my harem, please contact me here. もしガールフレンドになりたかったら、連絡ください。如果你要男朋友，請你看看這裡。
Further reading: Ban Recess
Follow me on Twitter: @nvladivostok1