My Red Pill Moment


Back when the ‘sphere was young, writers would publish a post explaining their ‘red pill moment’ – the instant they realized that everything they’d been told about women was wrong.  It’s fallen into disuse but I’m bringing it back.

In 2011 I was a blue pill beta who still believed 90% of the things that I was supposed to believe, and I dismissed hate facts with all the fervor of a furiously bespectacled lesbian social worker.

After yet another hair-raising breakup – I feared the crazy bitch might stab me – I decided to avoid dumping girls for while by avoiding real relationships.  I would just play the field as I had heard other men managed to do.

I met a new girl and we shagged within hours.  She later pressed for relationship clarification and told her openly that I didn’t want anything serious and that I would not be exclusive.  I expected her to slap me on the spot, or at least to storm out at such a degrading suggestion.

She didn’t.

I met another girl and set the same conditions, right from the outset.  No slap.  No storming off.  We were in bed a short time later.

Both girls gave me a lot more grief than I was used to.  They constantly whined about how I was such a player, demanded to know how many other girls I had, how old they were, etc. etc.

I decided it was all too annoying and I stopped seeing both of them.  I was celibate for about six months while I focused on other projects.

Finally I decided it was time to get a normal girlfriend.  A good girl, this time.  Some friends introduced me to their friend who they thought would be perfect for me.  Indeed, we had a lot in common.  We liked each other immediately.  Wanting things to be respectful and meaningful, I invited her on several chaste dates – coffee, movies, the zoo.  Long, deep conversations and lots of getting to know each other.  When I decided we’d waited a decent period I invited her around, cooked dinner and commenced seduction.

She knocked me back.

I couldn’t make sense of it.  I’d been so nice to her!  So much nicer than I normally am.  And those other two girls who I’d treated like shit – they’d been much keener.  What on earth was going on?

This was my very first realization that the world beyond my skull was a very different place than the one I had previously imagined.

Somehow I stumbled upon 2011’s three Rs of sexual truth: Roissy, Roosh and The Rational Male.  Retrospectively applying theory to practice I could piece together what had happened throughout my entire romantic history.  There was no event, no irrational outburst still mysterious.  In philosophy this is described as an ‘inference to the best explanation’.

  • My first real girlfriend left be because I was way too beta.  The contextual alphahood I had enjoyed when we first met had well and truly worn off.
  • My most recent, real girlfriend had treated me badly because she was an alpha widow.  She’d previously dated bad boy CEOs with apartments overlooking Manhattan.  I’ll give you one guess what her favourite TV show was.
  • The two girls I’d tried to see casually were behaving badly because they were giving me shit tests.  Only a high quality man gets to openly service multiple women.  They were testing to ensure that I really was such a man.  My responses were a little off-key – instead of giving them irritated, stony silence I should have agreed and amplified.  I.e.: ‘How many girls do I have?  Hmm, fifty-seven, but I only count the models.  And you.  I count you an an honorary model because you wear a blouse with that trendy spot of chocolate ice cream on it.  No, seriously.  Everyone will be putting ice cream on their shirts like that tomorrow, you just watch.’
  • The new girl who I’d tried to turn into a girlfriend?  I’d been way too nice to her, signalling low value.  I later found out her ex had been an abusive mongrel.  And I’d taken her to the zoo!  Oh, I’m blushing.

The next step was simple.  I reinstated the neoharem with new, improved arseholery: minimal messages, no phone calls, shit tests laughed off with psychopathic contempt.  I accepted that girls would fall in and out of the rotation over time.  I gave special treatment to the ones who were behaving themselves (we would actually go out and do things) while those who’d been naughty were put into the doghouse of limited contact time and a stronger focus on sexual service.  Oh, and that girl I’d courted in such a gentlemanly way?  After giving her no attention for months she contacted me out of the blue and suggested that we ‘try again’.  We did, that very night, and my harem had a proud new member.  One of my original casual partners also jumped back aboard Nikolai’s Trans-Spergian Railway.

Of course all this is Red Pill 101 cliche to my readers, but to the newly initiated it’s a book of magic spells.   These days I have to moderate my lusts due to environmental restraints but I will never forget those lessons learned in horror and delight on that old iPhone.  If I do happen to have an innocent reader to whom all this is news, I recommend that you start your education here.  Good luck, and enjoy.

Further Reading:  Schrödinger’s Pussy

Follow me on Twitter: @nvladivostok1

Also available on many other platforms.

Also available on many other platforms.


  1. Adam · August 2, 2016

    You took her to the zoo. Aww … that’s so sweet.

    I love how even though they know for sure their tingles have been snuffed out yet they go through with the whole excursion to the zoo, (in this case), anyway. Here is the fundamental difference between men and women. In that situation, once we realize that we aren’t interested it would be, ‘see ya later, loser’. But girls get off on the attention, any attention at all. And they have their delicious little secret where they know you aren’t going to get lucky but you keep trying oh so hard.


  2. Nikolai Vladivostok · August 2, 2016

    But I think they don’t know that consciously. It’s hidden safely in the hindbrain where they can never see.


    • J · August 20, 2016

      Hey Nikolai…something that I’ve always wondered is : how in the hell are betas able to get girlfriends in the first place if girls are not attracted to betas ? Like, you said that you used to be a beta but yet you still had a girlfriend at one point….then here I am, I’ve always been a better catch than these average chumps ( I’ve worked hard to improve myself in all areas of life), but yet I still have never been able to get 1 fucking women interested in the first damn place.


      • Nikolai Vladivostok · August 20, 2016

        Check the links I include at the beginning of this post:
        They are much greater experts than myself. Definitely work on those basic steps before bothering with the extreme measures that follow.

        How did I do it as a beta? I happened to have a cool job that made me seem cool when I actually wasn’t. I mean to write a post about it some day. Just dumb luck, basically.

        I know how you feel. I’ve been there:
        Remember that things can and do get better, but it may take time and further effort. Also, reframe how you think. From this:
        “. . . yet I still have never been able to get 1 fucking woman interested in the first damn place.”
        To this:
        “. . . but women still haven’t recognized how awesome I’ve become. What’s the next step to make them notice my sexy charms that grow by the day?”
        I saw Rollo (on The Rational Male) give advice just like that back in the day and I never forgot it. I read his blog right from the beginning and it really opened my eyes. It’s his book that I recommend at the end of this post.


        • J · August 21, 2016

          Ok thanks for the advice man, I appreciate it….it just so frustrating to me when I see guys who clearly do not do anything to improve themselves( they’re slobs/messy, no ambition, no sense of fashion, ect) and clearly have no game….but even they somehow someway always seem to attract girls around them…. because according to things like sexual market value, these guys should not be able to attract anyone at all


        • J · January 15, 2017

          I’ve been wondering recently about sexual market value…. because I work in a grocery store and everyday I see good looking women with absolutely pathetic dorks….now here’s the kicker: these dorks clearly have no game either, so it’s not like you could say well these guys must have tight red-pill game. Then here I am I have always been a good-looking well-groomed catch better than most guys out there but I still get no chances whatsoever…. I feel like women should be falling over themselves for a guy like me but it’s like they don’t give a shit. The only thing I can think of is that these women must not be catch themselves and feel unworthy…. and also there mist a lot more desperate women out there than we think that will settle for any trash that comes along.


  3. Adam · August 3, 2016

    They know. Safely hidden in the hindbrain is their convenient excuse. You’re giving them way more credit than they deserve.


  4. insidioustemptation · August 18, 2016

    Environmental restraints? Interesting thoughts on women and dating. Thank you for sharing!


    • Nikolai Vladivostok · August 20, 2016

      Environmental restraints = live in a small town where multiple girlfriends would run into each other. They can tolerate being part of a neoharem if they have plausible deniability but are humiliated if it’s rubbed in their faces. Works better in the big smoke.

      Liked by 1 person

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  6. Kentucky Headhunter · March 18, 2020

    “This was my very first realization that the world beyond my skull was a very different place than the one I had previously imagined.”

    Man, that was SO hard to get past back when it happened to me. Too bad I was already married and couldn’t take better advantage of it.

    Liked by 1 person

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