Dear reader, have you played a game called love?
I’ve met a girl. Twenty-five. Gorgeous. Within a few dates we were sleeping together. Are there any red flags, Nikolai, that a mature and romantically experienced fellow (oh, thank you!) might have noticed? Yes, yes. A shirtload. A blerrie mayday parade full, mate. Here are some:
- Her first partner was a butch lesbian whose lovemaking seemed to have approached physical assault. Tough act to follow. Yes, she’s had blokes since. Oh, and she pretends unconvincingly that she’s no longer in touch with this rough chunk of girlmeat.
- She seems to know every foreign fellow in town. In this case ‘know’ might take on a biblical meaning. ‘I know this Italian guy who started a restaurant . . .’ ‘My Canadian friend said that . . .’ ‘I was choking on my Ghanaian friend’s massive cock when . . .’ Okay, the last one hasn’t happened yet.
- She frequents nightclubs with her friends. In fact, I think that’s where she is tonight because she wanted to move our plans to tomorrow for some reason (I did not inquire).
- She is very horny and sexually adventurous. Basically she wants to do everything she’s ever heard of or seen in a video.
- She sometimes changes or cancels plans at short notice. She stays in the big smoke without adequately explaining why she’s there. She’s slow to reply to messages.
- She enjoys lying to her parents about being with me. She cheerfully admits that she gains pleasure from breaking rules and transgressing social norms.
- She seems to assume I see other girls and recently expressed concern about it, claiming she ‘doesn’t like to share’. I told her I don’t date around but only because I’m really busy and this, believe it or not, is the main part of the truth. I also live in a small town where sneaking is tricky. I asked her how many guys she was seeing and she vigorously denied seeing any others. Yeah sure, see dot point above.
So what’s the problem, my astute reader wonders. You’ve been around the block a few times. A gentleman in this situation simply enjoys the ride but looks elsewhere for a more meaningful relationship, or even for unprotected sex. As I’m not looking for those things, no problem. Just keep on fucking her brains out until she disappears from my life or until I leave the country, whichever comes first. Neither is far away. No issue here.
But there is an issue.
The intense flood of post-coital oxytocin has bonded us together like dried vomit once bonded my unconscious, long haired friend’s golden locks to the bathroom tiles when he was a drunken teenager. Over-laboured simile? I’m normally immune to the googoo chemical but this time her youth, anime body, pleasant demeanor and lust have struck me down into an unfortunate condition which I shall not yet condemn as love, but rather shall call the infatuation of the older man who really ought to know better.
So here we are again. It’s getting dark. She’ll be going out soon. Perhaps meeting a guy. If she does, it will be a foreigner of course. Jesus, I might even know the guy. She’ll go back with him to his place or to a love motel. Fuck him with the same passion she fucks me; hold him afterwards with what she pretends is the affection special to us. *Looks at clock* Yup, she’ll be starting any time now. Might be naked already. Maybe he’ll tell her to bounce her tits for him and of course she will. Show off her dancer’s flexibility as he pulls her legs apart. Gazes at him with what she thinks is love as she sucks him off. I wonder what she told her parents she’s doing. Overtime? She already used that one last night when she was with me.
I’ve never heard a player write about how to deal with jealousy. For me, it hasn’t really come up. Most girls I’ve been with, either I didn’t think they were seeing other guys (I can usually tell) or they may have been but I didn’t fancy them enough to care.
This girl is different.
The possible steps for dealing with jealousy would be:
- Smile and nod when she says her bullshit. Go ahead and do whatever I want and not worry too much about what she does except from a sexual hygiene point of view.
- Run relationship game. Insist on passwords to her phone, full disclosure etc. or no play. Dump her if she dares show disobedience.
- Dump her immediately to avoid hurt and humiliation.
I can rule 2 out straight away (see dot points). As for 3 – the hurt and humiliation are quite minor as I see her for what she is and reason tempers my passion. So 1 it is.
Postscript: I had finished this article but I have a cute update for you! She came over today and when she showed me something on her phone, a bloke’s message flashed up from the dating site where we met. She was nonplussed. We shagged and it was nice. Then she was saying how she wanted to put a chastity belt on me when I go traveling over the next few weeks. Basically she’s high-T and thinks like a man – she wants to root around but doesn’t want me to. Definitely option 1 above is the best. It needs to be complimented with occasional, outside trysts. I’m busy but the relationship will be unbalanced if I don’t put in the effort. Ah, it will be fun. I’ll get that organized as soon as I get back.
I think, more than jealous, I am disappointed. In the last few cases where I have met a girl who I developed some feelings for, she has almost immediately demonstrated why she is not long-term material. I am now convinced that relationship-worthy characteristics do not come from within, but rather are enforced by a repressive society. A society that would also put a stop to my debauched ways . . .
I’ll have another glass of civilisational collapse thanks, barwench!
Further reading: My first Tinder date
Follow me on Twitter: @nvladivostok1