How to get your house fuck-ready


Gentlemen: It will increase you confidence immensely, should you have an inclination to invite a lady back to your home, to know that the space has been suitably prepared for the purpose.  This is what you need to do:


This is where balance and discretion are required.   Read More

Porky Pies


I’m not good at lying.  I’m not even terribly good at telling the truth.  If I think my interlocutor doubts my word I get flustered and stuttery just as though I really were lying.  So as for actual lies, I try to avoid them.  If I know I am likely to need to protect someone from the truth, i.e. when a girl asks about Read More

Schrödinger’s Pussy


As in the quantum thought experiment Scrödinger’s Cat, a woman’s sexual decision exists in a state of uncertainty which can only be described according to statistical probability.  Before being observed, she both does and does not want to sleep with you simultaneously.  The blur of statistical probability only collapses into one or the other definite state once observed; that is, when you bust a move.

Let’s demonstrate with an example back here on planet Earth.  Shortly after formulating this theory I went on a date with a nice looking lady.  We met in a cafe and she told me that in ten days she would be heading off to spend a year in New Zealand.  Oh, I thought.  She just wants to practice some English conversation before she leaves.  What a waste of my time.  I considered making an excuse for an immediate getaway.

Then I remembered my theory.  She does not yet know whether Read More

A Heartwarming Story to Revive Your Faith in Humanity!

Yes, it’s not a typical headline over here at the People’s Blog, but the time has come to cast away my amoral mask and to acknowledge the bottomless oceans of compassion and love that are bursting to escape the prison of my heart and squirt all over your upturned faces.

It’s this tear-jerking news article from Melbourne, Australia.

A rather rough looking fellow named Hassan Abdul-Rahim took umbrage at being asked to move his Merc to another window at a McDonald’s drive through.  Disappointed and upset, he spat a monstrous amount of phlegm in the cashier’s face, managing to get some in her mouth.

The chap Read More

Dreaming of Glory


I read Dostoevsky, Nietzsche and Bertrand Russell.  I listen to ragas.  Kraftwerk.  Rachmaninov.  Watch Casablanca.  I see giant skyscrapers that appear to defy physics.  The space program, the men who boldly went and the closely cropped ones with broad rimmed glasses who got them there and back again.  The pyramids.  Angkor Wat.  Ford and Gates and that blonde fellow.  Sir Walter Raleigh, the superman.  Da Vinci the clever poof.  Socrates who dared to think.  Galileo who dared to look.  Einstein, who saw behind the curtains of our deceptive reality.  Napoleon and Caesar who conquered,  loved and slaughtered.

And who am I?  Bloody Martin Smith from Croydon.  What have I done?  I cut my fingernails so short I can’t even pick my nose.  I’m impressed with myself if I have clean underwear in the drawer, which is not all of the time.  I have travelled no further west than Read More

7 Pieces of Beautiful Classical Music For Beginners

My second most recent post on Return of Kings:

( . . .)  I recommend listening to the whole of Mozart’s Requiem. A requiem is a religious composition for the dead and is often used at funerals. The (possibly apocryphal) legend of the piece goes like this: towards the end of his rather debauched life, a mysterious man approached Mozart and said that an anonymous patron wished to commission a requiem. Mozart, stricken by a terminal illness, began to suspect that the man was a messenger from God and that the requiem would be for himself. Possessed by this awesome revelation he put into his work all the passion that can be stirred by death, faith and love. Mozart died partway through the composition of the requiem and it was completed by others. As you listen, you can hear the great man’s mortal brilliance slowly fading away as the piece progresses. Not a good one to listen to just before a party.

Read the whole article at Return of Kings.

Yeah, I was slack as getting this up.

How Acknowledging Death Can Improve Your Life

My most recent post on Return of Kings:

Life’s only certainty: one day you will die.

It might be this afternoon. It might be a century from now. You might see it coming in the form of a looming bus or you might hear its approach in a doctor’s calmly professional diagnosis. It could strike you from behind like a bullet in back of your head, your last thought being whether you need to get milk on the way home. It might come in your sleep, your morning alarm left unheard and a tab of midget porn left open for your loved ones to find. We’re all moving in different directions but we will all arrive, eventually, at the same destination.

Read the rest at Return of Kings.

Quiet Word from the Dark Side, 4/1/16

Illimitable Men publishes a long list of maxims that men need to know.

EvolutionistX writes about historical and contemporary human sacrifice in animist religions.  Also, the end of programming in America.

Sovereign Man writing about helping a desperate family member – there’s a sting in the tail.

Quintus Curtius writes about the ‘side-principal rule’ and unrestricted warfare in Read More